Twitter BP Account (Fake...And Tragically Funny)

Read More At The Source:  http://twitter.com/BPGlobalPR

  1. Our company psychiatrists say now is the time to move onto the last phase of experiencing a tragedy, acceptance mixed with forgetfulness. about 24 hours ago via Twitterrific
  2. @bpTerry just ran into the grabass room all excited and sincerely asked, "Why don't we just call Captain Planet!?" - he has great weed, ok? 4:16 PM May 27th via web
  3. We plan on spending millions of dollars to fix this mess. We also plan on jacking gas prices so high that you'll wish you never complained. 3:54 PM May 27th via web
  4. Announcement: bp is in desperate need of some positive visual PR. Anything goes. Submit to us w/ #bpbillboard. ABSOLUTELY NO PAY! 3:36 PM May 27th via web
  5. WTF! RT @bpTerry just picked up the party banners i ordered yesterday. somehow they say "Operation: To] Kill Accomplished". im in trouble. 2:54 PM May 27th via web
  6. This horrible spill wouldn't be happening in the gulf of AMERICA! Arizona knows what I'm talking 'bout!! #fistpound #bpcares 2:21 PM May 27th via web
  7. Of course, bp cares about the fishing industry as well. Now, all tuna from the gulf coast comes pre-packaged in oil. #you'rewelcome #yum 1:58 PM May 27th via web
  8. @BarackObama is "angry and frustrated." Well, so are we! This has really cut into our BP Goodtimes Field Trip Fund. #nomoredisneyland 1:31 PM May 27th via web
  9. Heard rumors of a memo about bp choosing $$$$ over worker safety. It's actually @bpTerry 's diary. So don't read it, it's VERY PRIVATE! 12:58 PM May 27th via web
  10. Really turning clean up efforts into overdrive today. We don't want Obama finding out about our crazy office keg parties tomorrow. 12:31 PM May 27th via web
  11. We are dedicated to helping the wildlife in the gulf. Any birds that need cleaning must report to 287 Quartemain St, Baton Rouge, LA 70801. 11:01 AM May 27th via web
  12. Just got the concession call from Exxon Valdez. They were great competitors and remarkably evil about everything. #bpwins! 8:20 AM May 27th via web
  13. Absolutely true: RT @bpTerry just ruined a meeting with some scientists. i ate their pie chart on a dare. tasted horrible. 7:01 AM May 27th via web
  14. The LA Times is reporting that Top Kill is working to plug the leak! Looks like our job here is done. See ya later gulf! #5dayweekend! 6:34 AM May 27th via web
  15. Seems some are trying to co-opt us. What a PR nightmare! Wanna know how to tell us apart? We say pickledick and pussyfart. #bpsaysfuckyou 5:40 AM May 27th via web
  16. After 38 long days, we've finally fixed it... No, not the leak! Terry joined twitter! RT @bpTerry testes, testes 1,2.... 3!?!?!?! lol. 5:14 AM May 27th via web
  17. How do you pay for barrels & barrels of oil? With barrels & barrels of "bp cares" shirts for charity (ugh) www.streetgiant.bigcartel.com 12:47 AM May 27th via web
  18. A lot of people are asking if we could have prevented this mess. Honestly, we have no clue. Our hindsight is 20/80. #bpcares 9:24 PM May 26th via web
  19. Correction! www.healthygulf.org. They are the ones robbing us of our hard earned shirt money. 7:42 PM May 26th via Twitterrific
  20. Can't believe we're literally losing thousands of dollars to www.healthegulf.org selling free shirts. Terry never reads the fine print. 7:27 PM May 26th via Twitterrific
  21. RT @BP_America - Top kill procceding according to plan. - FAKE ACCOUNT! CAN'T SPELL! If I had less than 7k followers, I wouldn't bother. 5:36 PM May 26th via web

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Posted by Paige Donner at 4:50 PM
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